Embody

Everyone talks about ‘introverts” and “extroverts” since  Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung in the 1920s coined the term to describe personality types, with introverts drawing energy from solitude and extroverts drawing energy from social interaction and their surroundings. 

Binaries have never served us, and in my experience not only am I both, but it fluctuates in regards to what the shape of my life looks like (i.e. how many hours of providing therapy have I done in a week). 

As a therapist for 20 years, I have seen people simultaneously be “more connected” through digital means than ever, but simultaneously more lonely, depressed, and anxious than ever before. How can this be?

The further we get from 3D connection, touch, smells, visual feedback, co-regulating nervous systems, the more we read into, misinterpret, and make up stories about what communication from others means. Simultaneously we receive information 24/7 about all of the atrocities of humanity. ‘Social anxiety” and “awkwardness” it at an all time high, and we have come to experience “discomfort” as “a lack of safety” so we may not choose to be in person with people often, or at worst -case scenario, avoid in-person experiences almost all-together. We may chalk it up to identifying as an “introvert,” or maintaining our “safety,” and I invite us all to continue to asses the cost-benefit analysis of that belief. 

In this increasingly Western-nuclear-family-single-dwelling-cubicle-digital world, particularly after being locked down in the COVID pandemic, we have lost some of our connection with the sensual, “embodied” reality. We have become so plugged in that we do not experience the sensual (meaning engaging of all the senses) experience of our environments, and we do not co-regulate with one another as we once did. 

This is certainly more true for some than others, depending on the work we do, depending on the culture we come from/live in, depending on our active choices on how we spend our “free” time. What IS common across humanity is that the more we drive rather than walk or bike; the more we communicate electronically rather than in person or on pen and paper; the more we order all of our groceries/dinners/household items; the more we wear headphones everywhere we go; the more we plug into a virtual life we become so sucked in that we forget the sights, smells, sounds, feelings of our bodies, and even the taste of the food we eat (if we are watching a screen). 

(Gentle reminder, I am not into binaries, and am NOT saying that these things are only bad, and that there are not times and places for them!!)

If “Embody” has come into our consciousness today, it is inviting us back into our sensual self. “Embody” reminds us that there is a whole amusement park worth of experiences to have if we: step away from the virtual world frequently and adjust our eyes to look beyond the short space between us and a screen; step outside for a little bit everyday and notice how the environment is ever changing through light and sound; eat (and maybe even share) our food without driving or screens; stop and smell the flowers - or the cookies baking- or the onions cooking - whatever brings YOU joy; to use our hands and skin to experience textures and sensations that compel us, sometimes that means giving our own bodies the touch it craves. 

“Embody” cautions us that if we continue to seek immediate dopamine gratification, if we become addicted to notifications, woofs, taps, growling, swipes, likes, comments, pushing a button and having things arrive at our door, we lose touch with the soul gratification of slower burning but more full bodied connection with others. This is also true about the ways we relate with nature. I have a very different relationship with meat if I see in an embodies way how its treated and am part of its slaughter; I have a very different relationship with plastic when I see in an embodied way how it is filling the Ocean and the life it contains; I have a have different relationship with a tree when I actually feel in an embodied way the earthshaking force as  it hits the ground when harvested and see wildlife scatter. Having an embodied relationship with these things des not mean that I do not use/engage in these practices, it just influences my choices about how I operate and support these practices.  

Points to Consider:

• Have you ever sat in front of a TV, computer, video gaming system, gambling machines book, project and not noticed the environment around you? If the answer is yes then you get what it means to not really “be in your body” for a time. This can truly be a gift, and are there times when it isn’t? How do you make those choices? Is there a way to maintain increased consciousness around making these choices?

• When is that last time you went out into nature, even if it is your backyard, without a phone, headphones, or a music speaker? How long did it take for your nervous system to let go and come into presence? If you haven't, give it a try!

• When is the last time you went to a social event without your phone or smartwatch? Do you check your phone when you are out with someone and they step away for a few? Experiment with leaving your phone behind, and not checking it in the “Gap” time? What things would you have missed if you were looking at your phone? Notice if your mind makes up a lot of excuses about why you”can’t” do this. 

• Book recommendation - Spell of the Sensuous